No Longer Alone

Posted on Fri Dec 4th, 2020 @ 11:10pm by Chief Science Officer Mika Rai'z D.Sc., Ph.D. & Doorway Specialist Karyn Morgan
Edited on on Fri Dec 4th, 2020 @ 11:11pm

Mission: New Starts
Location: Karyn's Quarters
Timeline: 247912.28

The scope of FarVoyager still amazed him, and the difference in technology equally so. Mika straightened his uniform and picked back up the cat carrier that held his cat, Janus, trying not to stare at everything as if it wasn't all new and unfamiliar to him, which it all was. Every time he thought he had created some sort of mental order to all the changes, there was something to remind him that this wasn't his reality, or more accurately his home reality. And it wasn’t the first time he’d had to adjust to an alien world. He knew he needed to accept that this was his home now, for the foreseeable future. He was trying and perhaps in time, he could.

His thoughts went to Karyn, reminding him that she’d been through it several times, and she was a source of strength that he admired. A moment later he arrived at her door, and with a sigh at his spinning thoughts, set his hefted his bag and pressed the door announcer next to it. They would be making their way to FarVoyager together.

Karyn Morgan was a veteran at this. Pack light; take only what is absolutely necessary for survival. The next world might just force you to anyway. Over and over, she had leaped from universe to universe, always running, always one step ahead of her own demons. And now she was here. There was one difference this time, though. This time, she had not leaped alone.

In the past, it had always been her curse to have to leave behind anyone who mattered to her. Either they died or they were victim of their own fatal nobility. This time, she had thought it would be the same; but when she had opened the wormhole, it had opened too close, and Mika was caught in the vortex. He didn't get a vote.

As she stared at the small device in her hand, she wondered if he was angry with her for taking him from somewhere he had believed he could make a difference. This was her life, her chosen path, and he had been unceremoniously dragged into it. Not that she didn't want him here; she could definitely not say that. It was just that she would have preferred it if he had been given the choice.

Her door chime interrupted her thoughts, and she did what she had always done, secreted the QRS in her pocket. Old habits died very hard, it seemed. She was safe here -- was anywhere really safe? Her past travels would seem to suggest no -- so it was unnecessary, but she still did it. "Enter." she called, turning toward the door.

The door opened to reveal Mika and he hesitated, almost awkwardly, before coming in. “Hi,” he smiled, placing the pet carrier onto the floor, and although there seemed to be a sadness about him, he was always glad to see her. The smile he gave her was real and effortless.

Karyn smiled, noting the sadness and understanding it. At least, she thought she did. "Hey there." Her tone became softer, warmer, compassionate. "Are you okay?"

After taking a moment for her question to sink in, Mika nodded, giving her another smile, one that wasn't as real as before. "I'm fine." He started walking around the room. "It's just going to take some time to get use to." He stopped and turned around to face her, showing some concern. "What about you, how are you doing?"

Karyn had not missed the falsity of the smile, and it did nothing to relieve the guilt she felt at his being dragged from everything he knew. She smiled in return though, hers warm. "You forget, Mika, I've been doing this a long time. Years, subjective time, even before landing in your universe. I'm..." she hesitated, having almost said 'used to it.' But was she really? Why was she even still doing it? "I'm more accustomed to it." she said, changing gears, if only slightly.

She approached him and placed a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Mika." she said, sincerity in her tones and eyes. "I wanted to give you the choice, yes, but I would never have just dragged you with me." It was the truth, hard as it was. She didn't really get a vote where the wormhole opened up, on either end, when she keyed the QRS. This time, it had decided that he was to go with her, their own desires aside.

“I know...” Mika nodded, lowering his head, feeling touched by her words, by her gesture, by the look in her eyes. He placed his hand over hers that rested on his arm. "And I don't blame you. It's just sometimes I’m... " He stopped, unsure of how to explain without revealing certain personal things about himself. “You know..” he smiled, “there’s some things..actually, there’s a lot, that you don’t know about me. You have me beat, but I’ve had to start my life over a couple times before. I’ll adjust.”

Karyn studied his eyes, the way he stood, his voice. All of it told her little things. And all of those little things added up... eventually. He had secrets, or at least things he didn't want her to know yet. He'd held back, and she hadn't missed it. But she was also polite enough to let it pass without comment. There were things about her that he likely didn't want to know either, so fair was fair. "It's okay. You have things you want to keep to yourself; that's fine. There are things about me that I bet would give you nightmares. So we'll keep our secrets for now. But when you're ready, I want you to know you can talk to me." She meant it too, every word. "And I know you'll adjust, but I'm still sorry you didn't get a choice." That was an important thing for her, choice.

He knew she meant it and some of the weight lifted off him, she understood all too well. "Sometimes we just don't get a choice," he replied softly at first, then stressed, "It’s not your fault, Karyn. If anything, I am glad that it’s you that is here with me."

Karyn watched him for a moment, taken aback by that last bit. It was flattering, and it pleased her, but she hadn't expected it. "Really?" Okay, that wasn't what she'd wanted to say when she'd opened her mouth. She sighed, cleared her throat, and tried again. "What I meant to say was I understand, and I'm flattered. But why?" Okay, that wasn't what she'd meant to say either. Why? What kind of bull shit was that? Mental facepalm.

"Why?” Mika looked confused. Then, faintly, the hint of a smile played at the corners of his lips. "You mean, why are you flattered? I don’t know." He gave a little shrug and teased, "Maybe it's because I’m this really nice guy." And immediately feeling like he had failed, took her hand, and took in a deep breath. He had to admit, "Karyn...because I care about you. The past couple of months, we’ve formed the kind of friendship that I’ve never had before. If I hadn’t gone with you, I would have missed you," his smile lessened, "felt a great loss in my life."

Karyn was very touched by his words, and she couldn't say anything for several moments after he had stopped talking. When she could trust her voice again, she gave his hand a squeeze. "I would have missed you too, Mika." she admitted, pausing before admitting anything else. "I wanted you to go with me, hoped that you would, but it would have been your choice. I move around so much that I don't have much chance to make lasting friendships, but I... I felt that we have. And I'm very glad that I got to keep it." She knew that sounded selfish, but she couldn't help it. After all of the times, she'd been denied taking those she cared for with her, the universes had allowed it, even pushed it, this time. And she was glad of it.

"As am I…" he paused, breathing in deeply again, lifting her hand up to hold between his own. "So it seems to me that we should look at this as a new journey, one that we are traveling on, together." He uncovered her hand and kissed her knuckles, a gesture of fondness. "It’s true, we haven't been given all the choices we would have wanted, but I believe we can make the best of the ones we have." Then he locked his eyes onto hers, and smiled, "Wouldn’t you agree?"

Karyn had not thought anyone still used that gesture, and so his doing it surprised her just a little. But it was also endearing, and she smiled warmly. "Indeed. It really doesn't matter how or why we got here. We are here now, and we should not waste the chance." she said softly, her own eyes locked with his, sky blue holding light brown in a warm sharing of feeling. "I really am glad that you are here." With all her talk of choices, she wanted, needed, him to know that she really was pleased that he had been brought with her, no matter how it had happened.

Mika nodded, seeing the warmth in her eyes. And for a moment he had no words, only feelings he'd thought would never exist for someone like him. His smile brightened as the realization grew. He now knew that no matter how much he wished he was back with his own people, he wouldn't have wanted to be there, not without her. "So what do you say we go and get ourselves reported in."

Karyn smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. "I think we should. There will be plenty of time to continue this conversation afterward." She really didn't want to back away, but he was right. She gave his hand one more small squeeze before releasing it and stepping away to gesture toward the door. "Go ahead. I need to finish unpacking, and I will be right up. Likely better if we don't both go at the same time anyway," she said with another smile. "I will see you afterward though, I promise."

Not wanting her to step away any more than she had wanted to, he gave her a small smile in return. "Okay." He forced his eyes away from hers, over to the pet carrier and his smile grew, " And I know Janus will appreciate getting out of that carrier."

Karyn's eyes followed his eyes to the pet carrier and the cat inside. She smiled; cats were one of her weaknesses. Moving to the carrier, she squatted down and looked in at the beautiful feline within. "Hello there, Janus. I'm sorry we kept you in there so long." She looked up at Mika then. "You can let her out in here if you like while I'm here. Let her stretch her legs a little," she offered.

Mika's smile had lifted. "I appreciate that. I am sure she will too. If you want to do the honors, you'll get all the credit then."

Karyn chuckled but looked back to the cat. "Well, how would you like to get out of there and stretch your legs?" She knew the feline wouldn't answer, but she just loved talking to them, loved being around them. As she spoke, she unlatched the carrier's door and opened it, allowing room for Janus to exit at her leisure.

The cat gave them a long stare, her tail settled close to her body and giving no indication she was planning on leaving the carrier any time soon. As much as she hated it, it had become in its own way, a security blanket. It was familiar territory when lately there had been little else to trust.

“Now, Janus,” Mika said with a gentle firmness.

Janus looked to the side, her nose down almost touching one paw. Her human was kind, she liked him most of the time, but he kept putting her back in this thing. Whatever he wanted could wait.

"Janus," Mika frowned, his thoughts going to how rough the past few months had been for her, ever since they had started to travel, because of his transfer to the station above the Ba'ku planet. They never made it, and here she was.

He knelt down next to Karyn, speaking in a soothing tone, "I'm sorry, I know it’s been rough lately. Our travels are nearly over now. Come on girl," he reached in carefully, gently petting the cat on the head, giving extra attention to behind her ears, her favorite spots.

After a long moment, she pushed her head into his hand and began to purr.

"That's my girl. You just need to come out now, you'll be much happier." Mika added, now running his hand down the length of her back.

Janus found her body betraying her, enjoying the physical attention. If she had been a more fickle cat she would have stood her ground longer. But as it was, the soothing tone and scratches behind ears, had won her over. She gave no protest as he scooped her from the carrier and into his arms.

Mika glanced over to Karyn, "Maybe next time," he teased.

Karyn felt bad for the poor cat. She wished she could make the poor thing feel better. When Mika lifted Janus out of the carrier, she reached her hand forward, fingers curled under, to allow the cat to get a good sniff of her before trying to pet. She had learned that the hard way years ago. "She just needs to get to know me," she said, looking at Mika with a playful expression, "then she'll love me as much as you do."

Having been smiling, Mika ended up looking at her with a fond expression in return. "I'm sure she will." Carefully, he handed the cat over to her. "She's been abandoned a couple of times." he said as he started gently petting her on the head again, "I've made it my goal that she never feels that way again."

Janus sensed a kind, and potentially feline worshipping, personality in the woman she sniffed. This was why she made no protest while being handed over. The love and affection from her person and the woman helped the nervous tension still trapped in her small frame to bleed off. It was nice to be loved and adored and meant there was no need to smother anyone's face while they slept.

As MIka handed the cat to her, Karyn cradled her in her arms. Her free hand petted down Janus' back and then moved to scratch behind her ears. "Aww, poor girl!" she gushed, leaning down to nuzzle her face against the soft fur then raising her head once more. Her eyes went to Mika. "I hope you will let me help you with that goal," she said softly, still caressing and scratching the lovely feline in her arms.

"I'd be happy to," he said, and with gratitude in his eyes. He started backing away, feeling as if he should go, though a part of him didn't want to. He gave her a weak smile, "Well, I should get going." And then went to the door, opening it, before turning back to her. "I'll see you both in a while."

Karyn smiled. She could see the reluctance in his movements and understood it. If the roles had been reversed, she would have done the same. "We look forward to it," she said with genuine sincerity in her voice and eyes. She then looked down at Janus and nuzzled her face into the cat's fur. "Don't we, Pretty Girl?" She couldn't help it and hoped the cat didn't mind.

Janus didn’t mind. Not entirely sure of her person leaving, she had no complaints, and the female person clearly worshipped her, so there was that. Her eyes closed, she purred more, becoming totally relaxed in response to the adoration.

Mika had smiled, really liking the scene before him. After tearing his eyes away, he was out the door and heading towards FarVoyager.